Okay?

Pain in my chest, pounding in my heart and mess in my head. Well, it's not just my head that's a mess. I officially declare that I am a mess after a year of bliss. I am so messed up that I don't even know what to write anymore. All I've been doing the past twenty four hours is break down and cry. I feel so guilty somehow talking about my own feelings and I immediately regret because I feel just so annoying and pathetic. I cried, screamed and broken down, but I still try putting on a fake smile. "Am I really okay?" Well I am acting like I am okay and I don't want anyone to interrupt my performance. Friendly reminder by the way guys, people in psychology school are taught that anger is a secondary emotion. So the next time you make someone mad, remember that it's because they were originally hurt or upset. No one has the slightest idea how much pain runs through my veins. Nobody please ever come into my life and start to matter and become an important part of it and then just walk away leaving nothing but a hole in my chest. I wanted to scream, I wanted to burst in tears, I wanted to get drunk and kill myself, but all I could do was stare at the wall in silence.

Life is like a piano I suppose; white keys represents joy, black shows sadness. As you go through life, remember that the black keys make music too.

"You kissed her in the rain out in the storm and you didn't realize that the rain was my tears and the thunder was my heart breaking."