Flashback to
March, 2014; "Short cropped hair, protruding collar bones, edgy hip bones,
ribs poking, backbone visible, big dark circles under my eyes, living basically
on water and fasting most of the time."
A year ago everything was different. I wouldn't have pictured myself like this. 'This' would be happy, healthy, in love, friendly. Most importantly I don't think I could ever imagine myself loving and accepting the body that God has gifted me. It has been quite the 365 days for me, from having low self esteem, self loathing to being self accepting and healthier and happier. I finally accept the fact that certain things will never be according to me. I cannot change my body to my own likes neither can I look like a person I am not.
My self esteem is still low. I still have difficulty seeing my reflection. I sometimes still get disgusted with my face and my body. You can tell me every day that I'm beautiful, and I would feel nice, but I would have trouble believing even a single word of it. Because nobody knows what I see in my mirror. And I'm just so glad that you don't see me the way I do because you would be just as disgusted.
A year ago everything was different. I wouldn't have pictured myself like this. 'This' would be happy, healthy, in love, friendly. Most importantly I don't think I could ever imagine myself loving and accepting the body that God has gifted me. It has been quite the 365 days for me, from having low self esteem, self loathing to being self accepting and healthier and happier. I finally accept the fact that certain things will never be according to me. I cannot change my body to my own likes neither can I look like a person I am not.
My self esteem is still low. I still have difficulty seeing my reflection. I sometimes still get disgusted with my face and my body. You can tell me every day that I'm beautiful, and I would feel nice, but I would have trouble believing even a single word of it. Because nobody knows what I see in my mirror. And I'm just so glad that you don't see me the way I do because you would be just as disgusted.
