Just as she attained puberty, she knew that this was the end
to her life as a carefree young girl.
According to the elders in the family, she had entered womanhood.
Marriage is supposed to be the beautiful union of two souls,
two bodies merging into one soul, being able to understand, love, care, hold,
and respect each other for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in
sickness and in health. But when two people make their wedding vows, do they
really mean them or are they just words mandatory for them to speak because the
society wants to hear those words? People decide on getting married for a
variety of reasons. Be it for legal, social, libidinal, emotional, financial, spiritual
and religious reasons. In India, marriages are often the decision taken by the
society instead of the two people who will be living through the matrimony and
spending the rest of their lives with. It is the twenty first century and yet people
disregard emotional reasons and get married for financial and legal benefits.
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| Kalawati and her smile. :) |
Kalawati, a beautiful young girl was the daughter of a
father who was a gambler and a hardworking mother. Kalawati’s mother was a
victim of child marriage. She was married off at a very tender age and was
living with a gambler and an abusive husband. The wagering of money or something
of material value on an event with an uncertain outcome with the primary intent
of winning additional money and/or material goods, gambling, it is an addiction
so dangerous. The most dangerous part is that gambling is “uncertain,” you
never know what and when you lose. Kalawati’s father gambled every evening. His
gambling habit had already left them poverty stricken.
The year was 2002 and it was the month of Diwali. The people in India have a particular day before Diwali called “Dhanteras;” it is the day when the men gamble and live with the uncertainty of either becoming extremely rich or either get thrown to the streets. It was past midnight and Kalawati’s father still hadn’t returned home since the afternoon when he started gambling. He had lost almost lost all the money he had, which was very little. He was trying to win, but as he kept playing, he lost even more. Finally as dawn broke, he was left with nothing but an enormous amount of debt to pay to his opponent. He came back home in the morning with fear dawned upon him; he was a broke man soon about to be homeless and his family as well thrown out to the streets.
The year was 2002 and it was the month of Diwali. The people in India have a particular day before Diwali called “Dhanteras;” it is the day when the men gamble and live with the uncertainty of either becoming extremely rich or either get thrown to the streets. It was past midnight and Kalawati’s father still hadn’t returned home since the afternoon when he started gambling. He had lost almost lost all the money he had, which was very little. He was trying to win, but as he kept playing, he lost even more. Finally as dawn broke, he was left with nothing but an enormous amount of debt to pay to his opponent. He came back home in the morning with fear dawned upon him; he was a broke man soon about to be homeless and his family as well thrown out to the streets.
Although he never mentioned about his loses and debts once throughout the day
to his wife. The afternoon arrived and the family were about to have their
lunch. Three huge men broke into their house and held Kalawati’s father by the
collar. Kalwati and her mother tried to hide in the few square meters of living
space that they had. Kalawati’s father’s opponent, Ravi, was one of the three
men who had come to cash out his winnings. Ravi’s eyes suddenly caught sight of
a beautiful twelve year old girl clinging to her mother’s saree. Ravi then turned
to her father, and said, “All of your debts are forgiven, if you give me your
daughter’s hand in marriage.” Without considering the age of his daughter, the
age difference between Kalawati and Ravi which was at least about ten years,
Kalwati’s emotions or opinion, the father saw an opportunity and took it.
He
agreed to “sell” his daughter.
This is the twentieth century and incidents like these occur so
very often even. These marriages are often
performed without the consent of the girls involved in the marriage. The country's law has made child marriage illegal,
but it is still widely practiced across the nation. If this is the state
of our country, are we ever going to progress? The mentality of people has
hardly changed.
Today, Kalawati is twenty three and her husband
died few years ago of tuberculosis. She has two children, an eight year old boy
and a six year old girl. But salute to the brave Kalawati, because even after
she went through so much, she wants to learn the English alphabets, and receive
at least a minimum amount of education and she for a fact is persuading her dreams.
My sister, Bhavna Choudhury, tutors Kalawati and her sister, Sunita, for free
of cost. Sunita who is thirteen years old is lucky enough to be attending a
public school and not being “sold” like her sister was. Both Kalawati and
Sunita work as maids. Kalawati very often says, “Jab parhne likhne ka mann tha,
bech diya.” This means,
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| Kalawati learning to write the alphabets. |
“When I wanted to read and
write and go to school, I was sold off.”
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| Kalawati's sister, Sunita. |
