Broken Dreams

Clueless to the core, pressure closing in, but does a fifteen year old’s worries mean anything to anybody? It hardly holds any value of some kind.
“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood.”

 William Shakespeare and his word play, it touches me so deep down. People normally come to certain points in their lives when they have to choose between the one and the other. But here I am, wanting to choose, but there is nothing to choose from. Or maybe in reality, there are just so many endless opportunities, that my mind, heart and soul are incapable of narrowing those chances and choices to just two limited ones. Very recently, my ways of living have been extremely simple and meaningless. Feelings of such have dawned that there is no more purpose of my living. In the mean time, I also know that I have much more in life that I want to do. Examples of such things I would be bowled over to mention, but I am scared of ending up with broken dreams, “Dreams turning into nightmares.”

“Find your dream catcher”
As Indian legend goes, the Dream Catcher is hung in the lodge near the sleeping area. Its purpose is to catch all dreams, good or bad. The bad dreams caught in the webbing would be burned off by the first morning light. The good dreams caught know their way to the hole in the center and filter down into the feathers. They are held there to be dreamed another night.
It was in Old Town Scottsdale, Arizona, at a store that I came across these beautiful dream catchers and was wooed by the concept of it. I have history of having nightmares and screaming in the middle of the night waking up everybody in the household. With some hopes of it working, I purchased one. Well, it’s been almost two weeks now that it’s been hanging on the lodge. And I do not remember encountering any series of nightmares; however I still do not come to believe that dream catchers actually work.

If related to my fear of broken dreams, I need to find a dream catcher of my life. I may not be correct, but the only dream catcher that works is ‘The Circle of Life.’

“You reap what you sow.”

Another year

“Sixteen”
Yet just another two digit number, isn’t it? But sometimes even a number can mean so much. The number sixteen can make just so much sense; it could be somebody’s favourite number, a date, a means to math, the denotation of a person’s age and oh so much more. “Sixteen” here is however related to age, your age. Each year you turn a year older. So what is it that is so special about turning sixteen? In reality, there is nothing at all out of the ordinary. It is just for the glitz and the glamour that the phrase, “Sweet Sixteen,” has been introduced. After all age is just a number. The human body matures and grows almost every day, but I suppose that everybody deserves and wants to feel extra important and special at least one day. And hence, the concept of birthdays has been established. You were seven and then today you’re sixteen. Though no great honours have possibly come your way, these are some of the loveliest years you have spent during your youth. People say you are young only once. This however also depends on what you believe in. If you’re a hardcore believer in the fact that age is about the state of your body more than the state of mind, then believe me buddy, you’re going to have a hard time remaining forever young. However if you are to believe; I am a child once, but my immaturity can go on forever after; I can assure you that you will remain young at heart for years thereafter.
5^th August, 1997, you have come a long way. From being a mewling and puking infant, to a little boy with the little school bag, and now to being a lover and a young lad, it could be stated that you’re in your third stage of life. As William Shakespeare’s poem goes,
“All the world’s a stage,
And all the women and men merely players;
They have their exits and entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts.”

So far as yet, you have played your role in this platform very well. Your entrance into the stage was an enormous joy and your performance as of now, has received so much applause and appreciation. As you are living through this third stage, you will experience so much. Staring from love to hate, joy to sorrow, excitement to boredom, anger and calm, betrayal and loyalty, friendship to enmity and so many other emotional and physical experiences you will encounter. Also remember, do not just carry the happy and blissful memories along with you; carry the erroneous ones with you as well. You learn from your mistakes. The human being is flawed from birth, but flaws and mistakes are what bring you a step closer to perfection. Of course, it is not expected that you become perfect and faultless right now. After all, you have four more stages to finally fulfil your purpose on Earth.
There are a few words by Jesus which have inspired me so much. I know that as you are reading this letter, those twenty two words would hardly affect or matter to you. But when the time comes and you really want to understand and acquire what the words mean, it comes to you very easily. All you have to do is look deep down.
“Give, and it will be given to you… for by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.”

April, 2004, it was the first time that we met. As already mentioned, in life you come across a lot, you can easily identify this in our lives, our friendship. During our years of friendship, we have experienced relationships and situations of so many different kinds. We started out as acquaintances, and then being enemies, and the time you were in love with me, me hating you, we becoming enemies again, entering brotherhood and sisterhood, and then we becoming friends. The summer of 2007, our ship sailed to take on the voyage of friendship and till date it hasn’t returned. Normally people would say, “I hope it doesn’t even return.” But I know, deep down inside that this ship has sailed so far away that it cannot find its way back to a land of hatred and animosity. So with abundant confidence, I can say, “Oh! That boy and I have been on a voyage ever since grade seven, we are not ever returning.” Our friendship is the result of the law of attraction.

The Law of Attraction-
It is a very simple law; you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to know the law of attraction. The law of attraction is the law of love, and it is the all-powerful law that keeps everything in harmony, from countless galaxies to atoms. It is operating in everything and through everything in the universe. In simpler terms, positive doings reap a positive receive and the same law can be applied to negative doings. Whatever it is that you give out, be it words or actions, you attract it back to yourself.
It is a probability that I have given out something positive to have some one like you attract back to me.
And yes! This is what Isaac Newton’s law is all about; it is that easy, of course without all the technical terms.
“To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

I have told you this before, and I am telling you this again today.
“I get mad at the people I love the most.”

You might some times wonder that if I am screaming and shouting at you all the time, how is it that I am your friend. Some time in the day, you might as well come to think that may be I just pretend to be your friend. But that is just wrong. I get mad and sick and irritated of you, but then again I love and cherish and save each and every memory of ours together. You are like a little child who can bug anybody anywhere anytime anyhow and at the same time, people just find you absolutely adorable. Well even if not ‘people,’ at least I do. So do not doubt the friendship that we have.
Heed to William Shakespeare’s words,
“Our doubts are traitors and make us leave the good we oft might win.”

I understand that it is a fairly long letter for a person who is not very fond of reading, but to express is magic, to comprehend is delight. Who knows, maybe you won’t even read all the 1167 words here. But to reach you with these words has been an absolute elation.

“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”

Oh and before it is too late,
Happy Birthday love.
You’re a stud, you’re my Superman, and you are my T-shiv.

                                                                                                          -Your’s forever and always
                                                                                                                                     Love, T-san