Pages of her Diary

"The worst type of crying is the silent one. The one when everyone is asleep. The one where you feel it in your throat and your eyes become blurry from the tears. The one where you just want to scream. The one where you have to hold your breath and grab your stomach to keep quiet. The one where you just cannot breathe anymore.
What brings tears to my eyes? Just words. The wrong kind of words, which feel like knives, swords and weapons used against me. Words are like tsunamis, but people splash them around like puddles. You should learn that just by saying the wrong things, you can end someone's life. Do you really want to be a murderer? I have heard of my imperfections, I know of them, I am aware of them, but thank you so much for pointing them out to me and reminding me of them yet again. You ask me why its so hard for me to trust people? I ask you one simple question, "Why is so hard for you to keep a promise?"

Everything seems to be so exhausting, no matter how much I sleep, or much I coffee I drink, or how long I lie down, something inside me seems to have given up. My soul is tired.
You have to understand that my feelings will get bottled up and I won't be able to hold them in any longer, I will scream, I will cry.

I just need a break."