Strength triumphs Weakness

She's been good. She's been bad. She has her moments. It's not like it is possible to be happy all the time. Life would not be that interesting if all she ever was euphoric. The sad moments are no doubt painful and hurtful. But without all the pain and hurt, there would be no stories to tell. Besides, after every storm there is sunshine. But if she would hold on to her story and keep on thinking about it all the time, or try to keep going ahead in her life with respect to her past, it would be an extremely difficult task. Surely she shouldn't be forgetting her story. Instead she should be letting people know of her story, so that other people don't do the same mistake as she did. It would be a help to so many people, especially all those beautiful girls out there who think they're not good enough.

3rd October

And yet again, another day of tears. I am so emotional and sensitive nowadays. My Mama didn't like the breakfast I made her, and she started complaining about every tiny little thing. This is so annoying. I was so upset. But now I'm much better. Kind of.

My Dad is so weird. Okay. He's not weird, he's just really worried about me and loves me and cares about me. He saw in his dreams today afternoon that I was cutting myself. He woke up immediately with a mini heart attackbAnd came to check up on me, if I was okay. Now he is talking about it and he's telling me that I was cutting my legs and my face and there was blood all around me. It's like when people talk about it, It's so triggering. All you can think of is self harm. It's so addictive. Dang it. Buuuuut I have self control And I will distract myself. I am so much more than this. Like What the hell, right? I have so much to do. What will I even get out of cuttings myself? Nothing. Zilt. Zero. Sure I'll get a few minutes of pleasure. But I'll be causing pain to so many others, And that's not I wanna do. I am strong. And I will not do anything of the sort. Fuck you Ana. It's my mind, My heart. I don't. I won't. I shan't. I am strong. I am not weak.