The Debt

Just as she attained puberty, she knew that this was the end to her life as a carefree young girl.  According to the elders in the family, she had entered womanhood.

Marriage is supposed to be the beautiful union of two souls, two bodies merging into one soul, being able to understand, love, care, hold, and respect each other for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. But when two people make their wedding vows, do they really mean them or are they just words mandatory for them to speak because the society wants to hear those words? People decide on getting married for a variety of reasons. Be it for legal, social, libidinal, emotional, financial, spiritual and religious reasons. In India, marriages are often the decision taken by the society instead of the two people who will be living through the matrimony and spending the rest of their lives with. It is the twenty first century and yet people disregard emotional reasons and get married for financial and legal benefits.

Kalawati and her smile. :)

Kalawati, a beautiful young girl was the daughter of a father who was a gambler and a hardworking mother. Kalawati’s mother was a victim of child marriage. She was married off at a very tender age and was living with a gambler and an abusive husband. The wagering of money or something of material value on an event with an uncertain outcome with the primary intent of winning additional money and/or material goods, gambling, it is an addiction so dangerous. The most dangerous part is that gambling is “uncertain,” you never know what and when you lose. Kalawati’s father gambled every evening. His gambling habit had already left them poverty stricken.
The year was 2002 and it was the month of Diwali. The people in India have a particular day before Diwali called “Dhanteras;” it is the day when the men gamble and live with the uncertainty of either becoming extremely rich or either get thrown to the streets. It was past midnight and Kalawati’s father still hadn’t returned home since the afternoon when he started gambling. He had lost almost lost all the money he had, which was very little. He was trying to win, but as he kept playing, he lost even more. Finally as dawn broke, he was left with nothing but an enormous amount of debt to pay to his opponent. He came back home in the morning with fear dawned upon him; he was a broke man soon about to be homeless and his family as well thrown out to the streets.

Although he never mentioned about his loses and debts once throughout the day to his wife. The afternoon arrived and the family were about to have their lunch. Three huge men broke into their house and held Kalawati’s father by the collar. Kalwati and her mother tried to hide in the few square meters of living space that they had. Kalawati’s father’s opponent, Ravi, was one of the three men who had come to cash out his winnings. Ravi’s eyes suddenly caught sight of a beautiful twelve year old girl clinging to her mother’s saree. Ravi then turned to her father, and said, “All of your debts are forgiven, if you give me your daughter’s hand in marriage.” Without considering the age of his daughter, the age difference between Kalawati and Ravi which was at least about ten years, Kalwati’s emotions or opinion, the father saw an opportunity and took it. 

He agreed to “sell” his daughter.

This is the twentieth century and incidents like these occur so very often even. These marriages are often performed without the consent of the girls involved in the marriage. The country's law has made child marriage illegal, but it is still widely practiced across the nation. If this is the state of our country, are we ever going to progress? The mentality of people has hardly changed.

Today, Kalawati is twenty three and her husband died few years ago of tuberculosis. She has two children, an eight year old boy and a six year old girl. But salute to the brave Kalawati, because even after she went through so much, she wants to learn the English alphabets, and receive at least a minimum amount of education and she for a fact is persuading her dreams. My sister, Bhavna Choudhury, tutors Kalawati and her sister, Sunita, for free of cost. Sunita who is thirteen years old is lucky enough to be attending a public school and not being “sold” like her sister was. Both Kalawati and Sunita work as maids. Kalawati very often says, “Jab parhne likhne ka mann tha, bech diya.” This means,

Kalawati learning to write the alphabets. 

“When I wanted to read and write and go to school, I was sold off.”

Kalawati's sister, Sunita.

The Rush

Performing Pop it, Drop it and Roll in the occasion of the Winter Carnival, a fund raising event by R.O.O.T.S

The movement of the body rhythmic to the tones of the instruments, the smooth flow and continuation, the breaks of the being at the exact positions, the creativity and innovations of the body direct to an art form so intriguing. Enabling the human body to emotionally express, socially interact and the most fascinatingly of all, to “tell” a story without telling is the magic of DANCE.

With my dance partner, +Shivam Pradhan. Performing a bollywood number on Teachers Day 2012

I started dancing ever since I was a kid. My mother encouraged me at every aspect and inspired me to dance. If she wouldn’t have introduced me to dance, I don’t possibly think that today I would proudly be able to say, “I love the rush I feel every time I dance.”  She was my mentor. Ever since I was a kid my mom and I would sit down every evening and watch dance programmes on the television. Those dance programmes and my mom has inspired me tremendously to become the dancer that I am today. I am not one of the best dancers of the world or country and do not hold a title or rank of any sort, but for me being able to enjoy the sweat and rush and the racing heart is a feeling extremely satisfactory. 

Sanskriti. My dancing dynamite in the purple belt.

To express and to reach out to people with this nonverbal communication is the most achieving capability of the human body. The joy of perceiving such nonverbal communications is nowhere near the ecstasy felt while performing one. The blood rushing all throughout the body, the flush of heat felt on the cheeks, the racing of the heart and being able to hear the heartbeats multiply faster with every move the body makes, the sweat slowly oozing out of the body from every nook and corner, the feeling of being a star and the number of pairs of curious eyes trying to anticipate each move; are sensations one feels when dancing with love and passion.

Sanskriti performing Chikni Chameli (bollywood) choreographed by me.

Gangotri, performing Anarkali (bollywood)

Motivating and inspiring young blood like my mother did to me, has always been a dream of mine. With the little experience and knowledge I have in the field of dance, I have managed to choreograph some dances performed by our school dance troop in regional television and school events. Our school troop consists of dancers from all grades starting from the fourth grade. When working with the troop, I noticed two very small girls, Gangotri and Sanskriti. They were so in-sync, moving with grace and perfection, with smooth fluidity in their bodies; I watched them with awe. I knew then and there, these were the two girls that I wanted motivate and watch them turn into beautiful dancers.

Gangotri (to your left) and Sanskriti (to your right)

Gangotri being in grade four and Sanskriti in fifth were dancing with much more perfection and fluidity than the girls who were in much higher grades. They were my two little minions and I brought them into the focus by my side. Both Gangotri and Sanskriti were extremely passionate, ardent and dedicated towards dance and watching them share the same passion and oomph I have made me elated and thrilled. Ever since I discovered them, we have performed together and they as well as have went up on to the platform alone and made space for themselves in the heart of the audience. I can assure that they feel the exact same adrenaline and excitement that I feel every time I dance and in the next few years, they will be the choreographers of our school once I pass out.

Gangotri in the baby pink belt. 

With lots of grace and poise, they will inspire other young talents like themselves in no time.

 

THE MISSION

Cleft to lip

In my recent blog I had mentioned about our school’s, that is, Axel Public School’s, students club R.O.O.T.S (Reach out 4 ones to smile) which is associated to Operation Smile. And let me also mention that I am living in Guwahati which is in the state of Assam, in the north-eastern region of India. 

 On the 27^th of May, I come across a post on Facebook, stating that an International Mission would be held from 11^th to 18^th June in the Guwahati Comprehensive Cleft Care Centre, in short GC4, Operation Smile at Mahendra Mohan Choudhury Hospital (MMCH), and that students would be recruited as volunteers. Excitement flooded my body as soon as I saw this. Immediately I held a club meeting and all necessary arrangements were made, so as to R.O.O.T.S could participate in it. There have been missions before in India, but as we had begun R.O.O.T.S quite recently, this was the first ever mission that we had come across and we were all get set to take part in.

On 7^th of June a meeting was held in GC4, discussing the mission details. R.O.O.T.S itself had chosen fifteen members for working in this mission, but unfortunately the Mission Coordinators and Organizers needed only a few student volunteers from grade ten onwards. So me and my best friend Punam, decided on volunteering for this mission.

So what exactly happens in these missions?

11^th June, 2013

The above date is one of the most unforgettable days of my entire life. There was a sudden certain change in me. Punam and I reached GC4 at 6:45 a.m. as it was the first day of the mission and we had a lot of work to do. We had to wake up at 5:30 a.m. and that was an absolute absurdity being the late sleepers that we are. But once the mission kick started, there were no regrets or doubts whatsoever to why we were here at such a ridiculous time.

It was maybe the very first time that looking at a child had put a smile on my face. Yes, there were kids, tiny kids with cleft lips or cleft palates or even so both lip and palate. I normally don’t like kids, but the hopes and dreams in the eyes of these children were enough to make anybody poignant. Of course, not only kids were present but also a great number of adults were there. They came from remote and different parts of Assam and Meghalaya so that they could look at the mirror and “smile.” A smile is important, maybe some of you might not value it, but some are dying to have a glance of one self smiling.

In International Medical Missions as such, a team of Operation Smile- credentialed medical professionals from around the world travel to Operation Smile partner countries to treat children during a period of time. These missions include-

*physical examinations (screening)

*surgery

*post operative care

On the very first day there was the procedure of screening, that is the physical examinations. Punam and I were in charge of Medical Examination Records’ registration work. It was a very small role but the thing which mattered the most was the fact that we enjoyed ourselves and we had the chance to meet the wonderful kids with adorable dreamy eyes and also to meet a lot of new people from around the world.

Also for the first time in 15 years of living in Guwahati, I could feel a sense of enthusiasm and energy and oomph in the people.

We worked till 3:30 p.m. However, we were not tired. We wanted to work even more. Sadly, all work was done for the day and it was time when we bid adieu to that wonderful work atmosphere.

And the most amazing and astounding part of that day was that WE, that is, the International Mission Workers, had screened 130 patients on the very first day itself. 

A Cause

I was in the train travelling with one of my best friends from Mumbai to my hometown when I received a text message from my school saying that I have been chosen the President for R.O.O.T.S.

Reach Out 4 Ones To Smile (R.O.O.T.S.) is a students club of our school associated with Operation Smile. Being chosen as the President for the club that would be working for such a wonderful cause was more than I could ever ask for. I did hear about Operation Smile a lot but I was not quite familiar with it. Instantly I did a quick internet search on Operation Smile and then and there I knew that I wanted to work for it and bring a change.

What exactly is a Smile?

If you go by definitions, it is a pleased, kind or amused facial expression, typically with the corners of the mouth turned up and the front teeth exposed. But believe me, a smile is so much more than just these few words. It is a facial expression through which people can read you, interpret you. Not just people but even when you look at yourself in the mirror and smile at yourself you know exactly how and what you feel. The lips are a muscle such that it can take whatever form you decide you want them to take. It is a clever enough muscle that even in your lowest of days it fakes a curve just so that your emotions stay hid. We often hear,

“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.”

These very words were said by Phyllis Diller. But did he once think about those who were not fortunate enough to be gifted with a smile? Think about one day of your life without your lip muscles being able to pull in to a smile. If you would ask me to live one day without a smile, I’d be devastated. I smile all the time and cannot imagine a day go by without smiling.

Now just pause and think about all of those who are born with facial deformities, a facial deformity as such where you can not only “not” smile but also the kind which makes you look different from all of the others. The facial deformity is that of the cleft lip or cleft palate. Put yourself in the shoes of one those kids with cleft. Do you think you would be able to attend school? Think of all the humiliation and insults that you would be facing every single day at school or any public place. Being looked at a million times by people because you’re different than the rest is not a very easy situation to be in. And the embarrassment and humiliation is not the only difficulty would face. Accompanying these deformities might be a multitude of medical problems including ear disease, chronic ear infection, malnutrition, dental problems and difficulties in speech development. Carrying these burdens with you would make life a whole lot harder to survive.

Considering all of this don’t you think you would want to help people with such deformities? I don’t know about you but once I came to know about it all and saw the kids for real, I was so moved and touched that I wanted to work for this cause more than anything. Being able to give people, especially children, the chance to smile and lead a normal life makes me more elated than ever. Especially in a country like India where every three minutes a child with a cleft lip or cleft palate or even so both at times is born, to work for a reason as such is so very appreciated. Every child has the right to lead a normal life without being taunted for a deformity that is not his/her fault. We are all children of God born to smile.

To work for a cause that helps bring change to million lives is an opportunity that one should not pass by.

Every morning I wake up, look at myself in the mirror and embrace this wonderful gift of a “SMILE.”

A Hollow Hole

There is a void in my life. It is an empty space, a dark black hole just waiting for to be filled. There is an urge to fill this gap. The need, the want to feel full again is so much that the more I wait the bigger and deeper the space gets. A feeling of hopelessness, helplessness, despair, desolation, despondency and anguish has dawned over me. Just to fill this up, I put a fake smile. But the truth is that I cannot fool myself even. Let alone me, my best friend cannot be duped. She can see what actually is behind the smile on the appearance. The smile, the grin, the smirk are some things I have permanently plastered on the face. Even at the most amusing situations, my lips do pull into a curve and appear to the spectators as though I am laughing. But in the inside it feels like as if an animal with bear claws is ready to come ripping out of me. The feeling is not pain, hurt, ache, soreness but the simple want to fill up myself. The body craves the incompleteness of the present, the void, the emptiness to be filled back up once more.

The stage that a cocoon goes through to finally turn in to a butterfly, its struggles to break out and take on its own is a perfect description of what I am going through. The hatching of a little bird from an egg and learning how to take the skies is another portrayal of my present living. Every living body goes through complications, struggles, difficulties, snags, obstacles and barriers. It is not only the human mind and heart that goes through the emotions and sentiments but every tiny breathing respiring organism experiences the sensation. But the only difference is that the human body is capable of giving vivid descriptive images of their emotions.

Just so I can distract myself and fill up the empty vessel of my life, I find myself doing very odd jobs. However even when I am trying to find a purpose to live again, sometimes somehow in between I end up breaking down. All of my past deeds and doings I recall and I cry thinking at the thought of how felicitous and how I used to be in high spirits all time round. A great amount of dejection is felt when I cannot answer the question,

“When will I go back to being my normal self?”

Looking at myself in this state, I pity myself. Although I absolutely hate being pitied at, every once in a while I wake up to giving myself an immense amount of sympathy.

But remembering myself these words by Charles Spurgeon makes me rethink over the past few hours on how I wasted my precious time,

“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.”

Abandoned

He said he loved her,
Although the words a blur.
“Be mine and blessed shalt we be forever.”
So she took the step being braver.

Bestowed they were with felicity,
Oh how they lived a life of simplicity.
Gabbing and chatting for hours long,
Seemed like only seconds along.

Bicker and battle they did,
Nevertheless her fury hid.
Time apart they spent,
However at last coming to an assent.

Once when hands struck twelve,
Deep in her heart she delve.
Tears of rage on her burning cheeks raced,
Abandoning and leaving him all so dazed.

One and the Other

The hot bright sun glistening,
Onshore the waves crashing.
Wind on their faces,
Her heart jumps and races.
He and his brothers chortle,
While she enters the shy portal.

He stares at her for long,
Whilst she hums to a song.
Their eyes meet,
She tries to keep together on her feet.
He breaking into a smile,
Both a feeling mutual as they were alone on the isle.

Both be blushing,
A one or two words babbling.
He makes her felicitous,
None of the two malicious.
After stretched hours they spend,
They were holding hand in hand.

Their time together coming to an end,
The two from distant lands.
Promises of always being together,
Weren’t a piece of their weather.
But as long as one and the other were close,
Their love for each other was at the most.